If you are living what you are passionate about, you are inviting conflicts. It could be conflicts within yourself (e.g. conflicting intentions) or conflicts between you and other people. I mention this because one way some avoid conflict is to avoid living what they are passionate about. A big mistake.
Uncomfortable feelings are what make conflicts undesireable. But what if you could handle those feelings? Then you could handle the uncomfortable feelings behind conflicts! Being able to process feelings effectively - to feel them fully and to let them go - is one of the necessary skills if you are going to live new possibilities for your life. (We can help you with that in The Stress-Free Community. See the links to the right.)
When you find yourself in a conflict consider these points:
1. Don't take what is going on personally.
Taking the situation personally will prevent you from hearing the other person - and yourself. Taking something personally makes the story in your head more important than the person directly ahead. This could create a conflict that will consume your time and energy, making your passion take a back seat.
2. Shift your focus within the conflict from winning and defending to understanding and creating. Here are some questions to help with that:
I hope this is helpful.
Uncomfortable feelings are what make conflicts undesireable. But what if you could handle those feelings? Then you could handle the uncomfortable feelings behind conflicts! Being able to process feelings effectively - to feel them fully and to let them go - is one of the necessary skills if you are going to live new possibilities for your life. (We can help you with that in The Stress-Free Community. See the links to the right.)
When you find yourself in a conflict consider these points:
1. Don't take what is going on personally.
Taking the situation personally will prevent you from hearing the other person - and yourself. Taking something personally makes the story in your head more important than the person directly ahead. This could create a conflict that will consume your time and energy, making your passion take a back seat.
2. Shift your focus within the conflict from winning and defending to understanding and creating. Here are some questions to help with that:
- What do they want - really? What needs are they expressing in the moment? How could you help them fulfill those needs?
- What do you want - really? What are your needs in the moment? What actions can you take to fulfill those needs?
- What is the most improtant thing in the situation - for them and for you? (e.g. being right, the relationship itself...)
- What do you want to live on past the conflict?
- What's the lesson within the conflict? How can you use the conflict to better your life?
I hope this is helpful.
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