Making Peace With Change

We know that things are constantly changing. Change is life. Life is change. Stop change, and you stop life. (Which, of course, is impossible.) Change is here to stay, so why not make peace with it? Why not learn to use it as a tool to assist you in living new possibilities?

Living new possibilities requires intentional living. Intentional living is about creating change. Instead of change coming at you, you are sending change out - from you through new choices. If you are at odds with change. If you fear it. If you don't like it. Why would you be compelled to create it? And yet, create it you must - if you are to truly live your possibilities.

Unintentional change is change coming at you - caused by people around you, the circumstances, nature, etc. When you create change in your life, you are - at the same time - creating unintentional change in the lives of others. (And since others don't like unintentional change, they often don't like the new choices you are making. Makes them uncomfortable.)

Handling this mix - creating change and dealing with unintentional change - is what makes living new directions in life interesting and dynamic. And it's one of the reasons people often stop before they really get started.

At www.RelationshipFitnessOnline.com, I work with you handling this dynamic mix. Then the possibilities you are seeking to live won't remain just a dream, but will become a living reality.

Looking For Heaven On Earth

One of the things that fascinates me about being a teacher and coach is how people think I have some "perfect" life. I simply tell people that my life is not "perfect" (meaning without setbacks, hardships, or "down" days), but what I do have are the tools to know how to navigate through those moments, while remaining true to myself and my aspirations.

As coaching becomes more known, now entering the Hollywood scene, for example, people are going to be getting all kinds of ideas about what coaching is and isn't. I will tell you, coaching is not some magical cure to the reality of daily existence. No program, service, or method is going to change the nature of existence. But working with a coach can help you to learn how to navigate daily life more effectively, helping you to create the space and the skills to live what truly matters to you, right in the middle of the daily grind.

I recently heard Jerry Stocking comment that peoples' idea of heaven is having the same response to everything. Maybe that response is a "positive" response, a "loving" response, a "blissful" response. But to me, that idea of heaven just isn't realistic - and it would actually rob you of the joy of existence. Just to let you know, coaching isn't about that - at least not to me. It's about - among other things - helping people to fully embrace life - all of it - because all of it has something of value for us. All of it. And if we refuse to embrace it, we refuse to learn from it. In fact, I think we're probably learning only about half to 3/4 of what we could be learning, simply because we refuse to embrace life as it is.

My work as a coach is not to help people escape the realities of existence (as if I could do that anyway). Like somehow I'm going to help my clients to be free of all the challenges of life. I've used the term "Stress-Free" before, which doesn't mean that you will be free of stress. It means that you will become more and more free of it's harmful effects - as much as is possible for you - when you learn how to USE stress in a positive way... It means that you are going to FREE yourself of doing battle with stress, turn and learn from it, and let that which is a normal part of life teach you instead of control you!

Stress reveals openings for new possibilities in your life. If you're stressed at work - congratulations! Your stress is telling you that there is a new possibility amid your situation. Can you see it? Are you looking for it? Why not use what is as a catalyst to what could be?

Just so you know, Life Coaching is not driven by "pie-in-the-sky" platitudes and feel good sayings - it's about helping you to live your everyday life, and perform your everyday work, more effectively. With more meaning. With more joy. And with greater authenticity. Even though there will still be some rough times.

This day brings with it many new possibilities. Embrace all of life today. Listen. And you will see them - those possibilities peaking through - right in the middle of where you are. Then choose to bring them to life! Perhaps that is the real heaven on earth.

What is "Learning"? And why is it so important?

At first glance, this doesn't seem like a very interesting topic. Learning. But I think it's quite fascinating to consider what learning is - and what it isn't.

I have three children in school. Just last night I was helping my daughter memorize something that she will be repeating back to her class today. Is memorization learning? I call it "storage."

Just yesterday I spoke with an individual who told me he needed a break from thinking. His mind is cluttered with all kinds of thoughts and things that need to get done. Is thinking learning? I call it "entertainment."

In a workshop I wrote and facilitate called "TAKE CHARGE! and Live Your Greatness" I share with participants near the beginning of the workshop a 3-step "evolutionary progression": consume, understand, and create. And I emphasis a principle of Accelerated Learning that says, "Learning is creation, not consumption." Meaning that if you can take what you have "stored," and "entertain" what you want to create with that knowledge and understanding, and then step out and create something, then you have truly learned.

To take it one step further is to then look at the result or experience you have created and evaluate the outcome. What worked? What didn't work? What could you do to create even more effectively next time? Now you're learning!

In short, I'm saying that learning is really about creating and using the created result as a means to become even more effective at creating! That is why learning is so important. True learning helps you to Live New Possibilities!

What are you learning today?

Stress is NOT the problem

I just finished reading some pretty interesting statistics this morning about stress. Here they are:

• 75-80% of our ailments are either caused by stress or complicated by it.
• Almost 17 billion dollars a year is spent on loss of productivity due to stress alone.
• A survey of workers revealed that 80% said they needed help in managing stress, yet...
• Only 37% of companies offer any kind of stress management program on a regular basis
• 24% of the population say that reducing stress is their main concern for health.

I think those are very interesting statistics.

But something that I have learned in the past 12 years is that stress really isn't the problem. Stress is a natural part of life. And it's an outcome - a result - of how we live our lives, who we are choosing to be in any given moment, and how we take care of ourselves. So the real issue is, what are we doing or thinking that is causing so much stress? And what are we doing to improve that?

As a Life and Wellness Coach, I'm working to help people understand what causes stress, how to balance their inner lives, and - most importantly - how to take the focus off of stress and put it on what is truly important to them. Seems to me that if we tap into what we are most passionate about, we are less tolerant of being stressed out. Because we then realize that we need the energy we are losing to stress to live our deepest values and our highest aspirations! And that's true for individuals and companies alike.

The invitation of stress is for us to step deeper into the greatness of who we are as people. Stress is not the problem - just the messenger. Our next step is to decide what we will do with the message.

Have You Noticed? It's Everywhere...

Beauty. It's everywhere. But have you noticed it?

At the time of writing this entry, I'm looking out my office window. Incredible! The beauty of this day is magnificent. God, expressing everywhere, through everything. The colors are bright, the air is clear, the sky is open with possibilities, and the leaves are waving.

Have you noticed the beauty that surrounds you right now?

Just a few days ago, I noticed how beautiful the eyes are on my cat. I caught her staring at me (and wondering what she was thinking). I realized that sometimes I don't see my cats beauty, I just see "cat."

My daughter, Leah, recently purchased some new hand bands. She put one on, and it just opened up another level of beauty - and made her look about three years older. Sometimes I miss the beauty of my children and just see "children."

Life is like that. Full of concepts, ideas, labels - things that help us navigate through the day. But they often block our ability to witness the beauty that surrounds us.

Consider looking for the beauty in your life today. Look past the labels ("sky," "flower," "child"), the stories, the interpretations, the assumptions, and just notice. Notice the beauty of people's smile. Notice the beauty in their movements. In their words. In the way they look at you. Witness just how beautiful life really is.

This simple practice will open you up to experiencing a new possibility in your life - the joy of beauty.

Stress is an INVITATION

Very few people recognize that harmful stress is an INVITATION. It's always inviting you into something.

Stress is really not an enemy, or something that you should "eliminate" or "wipe out." In fact, that usually makes it worse, not better. And you miss what it's inviting you into.

Just consider what your stress could be inviting you to do...

to SLOW DOWN...
to WORK SMARTER...
to LET GO...
to CLARIFY...
to SIMPLIFY...
to TAKE BETTER CARE OF YOURSELF...
to MOVE ON...
to NOTICE...

There are so many possible messages. And the way to know if you got the message? The harmful stress leaves your body and mind!

How would your life change if you viewed stress as an invitation, instead of a problem that you have to solve?

Welcome to Living New Possibilities!

Wow! I finally have a blog! An opportunity to share my thoughts on a variety of topics, especially as it pertains to my vision and mission at RelationshipFitnessOnline.com. (This could get dangerous!)

I want to welcome you to this awesome experience! I plan to post quite regularly, so do check back. It's a guarantee that my postings will make you think. Inspire you. Lift you up to new heights. And sometimes make you laugh like a silly little kid!

Let's have fun with this. I will. Why not join me?

And if you haven't checked out www.RelationshipFitnessOnline.com, what - may I ask - are you waiting for? It's a great service, very affordable, and life changing!

Until next time - live your Greatness! The world can handle it!