Moving At The Speed of Life

Did you catch that? Moving at the speed of LIFE!

Life. It's wonderful. It's everything. And it's everywhere. Just look around you, and you'll see it. And be courageous enough to declare - outloud - how much you love it! See if you can say it with conviction: "I love life!"

Everything that we do is an attempt to feel better. I've noticed that as a Life and Wellness Coach. We seek the fulfillment of goals in order to feel better. We eat to feel better. We exercise to feel better. We take supplements and medicines to feel better. We socialize to feel better...

I think one of the greatest reasons to improve our lives is to feel better. And one of the greatest and quickest ways to improve our lives IS to feel better. For when we feel better, LIFE moves through us quicker. In fact, you could say that that is what feeling better is: Life moving through you - at the speed of life.

The healthier we are - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually - the quicker Life flows through us, and the better we feel. And the better we feel, the more we accomplish in our lives... The greater is our service... The more effective we are at work and in raising our families... And the more connected we feel with Life.

Today, what can you think, do, or say in order to feel better? What routines can you set up in your life that will create the conditions necessary for Life to move through you more fully?

It's what everyone is after: to feel better. To live more fully. And it all begins with a choice.

Our Fascination With Being Unique...and Separate

In a recent business training, I was challenged to identify what makes me unique. Different from someone else. What makes me stand out in the marketplace? Those are great issues to address. Especially in business, because with the multitude of choices available to consumers today, being unique is important - just to break through the mental clutter. I think many are fascinated with the idea of being "unique" and somehow "separate" from others. In fact, I think some are looking to that uniqueness as their primary "identity."

But how many times have we been challenged to pause and reflect on what it is that makes us alike? Wherein lies our oneness, our unity? What do you and I have in common? What makes us one with God? What makes us one with the our neighbor? Or with the people on the other side of the planet? I think questions like this are even more stimulating and intriquing than asking what makes all of us different.

We live in a world that is greatly divided, yet at the same time becoming more global and united. It's an interesting thing to witness. We see wars being faught over differences in beliefs. And I don't just mean in the Middle East. Many of those wars are right here - in our neighborhoods. In our churches. In our businesses. In our families. And yet, at the same time, we see things like the internet and other technologies uniting our world in some pretty unique and wonderful ways.

What difference would it make if we did pause and began to consider our oneness? Would we find a deeper connection with each other? With God? With all of life? I think so. And perhaps the joy of life comes from understanding both - the things that make us unique and special, and the things that unite us and are in fact our Oneness.

When we live from both our uniqueness and our Oneness, new possibilities open up in our lives. We feel more connected with each other and with Life, and we feel inspired and empowered to serve and contribute in new ways.

Why Learn How to Create?

There is a skill in knowing how to create something. To bring something into being. We aren't taught too much about how to actually do that. How to care about something enough - to love something enough - to actually bring it into existence.

I think one of the most important things I do as a Life and Wellness Coach is to help people to see LIFE as a creative opportunity. To invite them to create something magnificent with their energy (wellness) and through their relationships. Many people are in the pursuit of happiness, which I think is great. But in my experience true, deep happiness comes as a result of what we have created in life. To learn how to intentionally create is to learn how to be truly happy.

Learning the skills of creation is so important. In fact, I think that the future of our world depends on it. To learn how to create individually - in our personal lives - is learning how to create in our companies. Which is learning how to create in our world. If we can master creating, we can then turn those skills in the direction of creating a world full of people who witness what we are doing and are also challenged to accept the invitation to create. Just imagine the impact...

As a Life and Wellness Coach, this is one of the primary objectives: to teach people how to intentionally create results and experiences in their lives. Results that truly matter to them and that connect to their innermost being. Why? Because then we can create families that matter. Businesses that matter. Nations that matter. And a world that truly matters and is healthy for everyone. There is nothing more natural, more compelling, or more important than embracing the ability to create. It's the most natural part of who we are as people.

Some have told me that creating is up to God. That it's not our job to create. We just have to deal with the creation. I disagree, in part. True, God creates. But we also must remember that God creates through us. We are co-creators with Life, with God. We don't rob God of anything when we create. In fact, we glorify God when we create. For we live the very image of God when we step forward and make our lives about creating instead of about problems and stress. So, to me, learning how to create is learning to be more of what God has created us to be. It is the way to be true to ourselves and to be a vital, contributing part of Life.

This world awaits each of us. It awaits people who are ready to step forward, to accept the invitation to be a healthy, creative force in the world. And this starts with vibrant health physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and relationally. When we are well, we can create families, companies, and communities that are well. Those are the areas of our lives where we perfect the skills of creation. And then we move on from there to look at our world and to begin to create it in a way that honors each of us, and that expands Life and glorifies God.

What more important task is there be up to? What greater possibility could exist for your life?

Stuck In A Rut? Here's Why It Happens

I've met lots of people who have said that their life is like being stuck in a rut. It happens. It's where life becomes a vicious circle and you feel like you are getting no where real fast. Experienced that?

This holding pattern is not always a bad thing. In fact, it sometimes can slow us down to learn some very important lessons. But when you're ready to live some new possibilities, being stuck in a rut is anything but desireable.

One of the things I do as a Life and Wellness Coach is to help people to get unstuck. To free themselves of structures that lead to places they really don't want to go. It's amazing to witness how we get into unseen patterns in our life that literally hold us - and our potential - captive.

One of those patterns are underlying structures in our lives. Structures determine how we behave. We encounter this everyday, actually. When you enter your house, the structure of that house determines your behavior within that house. You may want to walk straight ahead, but to do so would be to walk into a wall. So you turn left and go through the door instead. The door, the wall, and everything else about your house determines its structure - and how you can maneuver within it.

We are like that as people. We have these structures that define our behavior. And then we go and learn a new technique, a new strategy, or put on some new behavior. We set a goal and want to achieve it really bad. But... if the underlying structures in your life are not pointed toward what you truly desire to create, no strategy, no desire, no technique, and no behavior will be strong enough to get you there. (You might want to read that last sentence again.)

That is why people fail, get stuck, and don't live the possibilities that they would like to. They are "prisoners" of their own underlying structures - and they don't even know it!

With my work with clients, one of the primary purposes is to help people to build structures in their lives that point toward their true desires. Then all that knowledge, the strategies, the techniques that you know and learn from here on out will serve you in new and empowering ways. Success will become easier. LIFE will become easier.

If you're stuck in a rut, consider giving me a call at (812) 299-0214. I'd love to work with you in getting unstuck and on the road to living new possibilities!

Inviting Conflicts When Living Your Passion

If you are living what you are passionate about, you are inviting conflicts. It could be conflicts within yourself (e.g. conflicting intentions) or conflicts between you and other people. I mention this because one way some avoid conflict is to avoid living what they are passionate about. A big mistake.

Uncomfortable feelings are what make conflicts undesireable. But what if you could handle those feelings? Then you could handle the uncomfortable feelings behind conflicts! Being able to process feelings effectively - to feel them fully and to let them go - is one of the necessary skills if you are going to live new possibilities for your life. (We can help you with that in The Stress-Free Community. See the links to the right.)

When you find yourself in a conflict consider these points:

1. Don't take what is going on personally.

Taking the situation personally will prevent you from hearing the other person - and yourself. Taking something personally makes the story in your head more important than the person directly ahead. This could create a conflict that will consume your time and energy, making your passion take a back seat.

2. Shift your focus within the conflict from winning and defending to understanding and creating. Here are some questions to help with that:

• What do they want - really? What needs are they expressing in the moment? How could you help them fulfill those needs?
• What do you want - really? What are your needs in the moment? What actions can you take to fulfill those needs?
• What is the most improtant thing in the situation - for them and for you? (e.g. being right, the relationship itself...)
• What do you want to live on past the conflict?
  
• What's the lesson within the conflict? How can you use the conflict to better your life?
  

Remember, don't give up living what you are passionate about just to avoid conflicts. Conflicts are a natural part of the creative process and are opportunities to learn more about yourself and others. And to increase clarity on what truly matters in your life.

I hope this is helpful.

The Dangers of Integrity

Integrity is a hot topic these days. And rightfully so. It's foundational to a healthy company and a fulfilling life.

Integrity is about alignment. Truth. Keeping your word. Being loyal to something you believe in. And yet, I've entitled this post, "The Dangers of Integrity."

When is integrity "dangerous"? In some situations I think it can be. I had a client a couple of years ago who had a strong sense of integrity toward the way he was raised. Yet, many of the things that he was being true to prevented him from growing as a person. His integrity toward beliefs and success formulas he was taught were in conflict with where he was at in life, and what he was being called into. It was so bad that his greatest gifts were remaining locked inside of him, snuffed out by his integrity to old ways of doing things. Old ways that were no longer working.

I am certainly all for integrity. It's one of the greatest aspects of what I do as a coach - to help people live a life of integrity. But I think it is also wise to look at what our integrity is pointed to and make sure that we are aligned with things that enhance life - ours and everyone else's. In some strange way, I think everyone is living a life of integrity. It's just a question of what their integrity is pointed toward. What they see as "truth." What they see as "honesty." What they think is "right." What they are capable of seeing and knowing at the time.

In short, the challenge is not only to live a life of integrity, but to make sure that our integrity is serving a higher good and is enhancing life on our planet.

What If It Just Didn't Matter?

I had a great discussion with an individual recently. We discussed a very interesting question: "What if it just didn't matter?"

Have you noticed at times how much we make something matter? Perhaps we get too caught up in an expectation. Are trying really hard to achieve a goal. Want someone to really understand what we are talking about, because it's "really important."

And sometimes it matters so much to us that it actually becomes a problem, and we start experiencing all kinds of stress, struggle...and pain. And sometimes it matters so much that eventually...it just doesn't matter.

What if it just didn't matter, though, from the beginning? What if you approached everything in your life with a spirit of freedom, joy, and passion instead. Just went out there - in your job, your family... in the world - and just lived fully. And focused on that - instead of "making it matter."

I've seen people care about something so much that they try to force it on other people. I bet you could see an example of that on tonight's news. Or in your workplace tomorrow. Or maybe even in your marriage. Just see if you can spot it.

So, give it some thought. What if - instead of making it (whatever "it" is) matter so much - you just focused on living life to the full. Putting your passion and energy into what you are doing with a spirit of freedom and joy. And let the rest go.

It's a possibility worth considering.

The Loss of Meaning In The Pursuit of More

One of my greater concerns as I look out into the world, and forward into the future, is the rapid speed at which we all seem to be living. Nothing "wrong" with that, per se, but it prompts some questions.

What is - and will be - the impact if, in the process, we lose sight of the simplicity and the beauty of that which makes it all possible in the first place? What if we somehow lose touch with Life on the journey through life?

What happens if we get so busy working to make life meaningful and satisfying to others that we lose the meaning and satisfaction ourselves?

I see this with fellow parents. Working like crazy so that their children can have it better than they do. To me, this implies a couple of things. First, the way they have it isn't good enough; perhaps it will be better for the children. And two, if they aren't enjoying what they have and where they are as they pursue "better" for their children, what's the point?

Won't their children do the same thing? Who will stop long enough to really enjoy what is here now? Who will lead the way in slowing down and teaching the beauty found in this very moment.

What if we taught our children - and anyone around us - how to slow down and notice the beauty of this moment. To bask in the beauty of just BEING - even if only for a moment. Seems almost weird in our culture today to even entertain such an idea.

As a father of three children (ages 18, 13, and 12), and as a coach committed to helping others improve their life, I face these questions myself. And I see the tug of "better" and "more" in the eyes of my children all of the time. I feel the urge in my own life. And to be clear: I'm all for progress. Advancement. Growth. More expression.

But also I stand committed to look at - and invite others to look at - why we are pursuing those things in the first place. And are we - in the pursuit - losing the connection with the very things that we seem to be seeking in the first place: Life, God, Peace, Joy, and Love?

All of that awaits us in this moment. Pause... And you will experience it.

Are You Addicted to Stress?

Do you know anyone who is addicted to stress?

I've met many people in workshops who find themselves defending their harmful stress - like they are attempting to protect it. Justify it. Hang on to it. It's like they need it. They could be addicted.

When you are stressed, your body creates a powerful chemical mix. This chemical mix can actually become quite addictive, requiring a "daily fix" of stress for you to feel "normal." (In our society, this daily fix seems to be an easy thing to come by.)

I know, this all sounds weird. I mean, have you heard of a 12-Step program for stress addicts? "Hi, my name is Denver, and I'm addicted to stress." Maybe there should be! And you just don't find people going around saying, "I've discovered that I'm addicted to stress." But listen to people talk, watch their actions, and you may see it anyway!

When you are stressed on a regular basis, your body is releasing a chemical mix that is preparing you to handle the "danger" of the situation. Typically, this is called "fight or flight." (And in emergencies, this can be a life savor!) Both - fight and flight - require increased energy, so your body empowers you with increased energy through adrenoline. The problem is, your body is damaged when it's exposed to large quantities of adrenaline on a repeated basis. Therefore, you see a lot of stressed people developing medical problems. In fact, studies reveal that 75-80% of our medical problems are directly or indirectly related to stress - and the chemical mix associated with it.

So, are you addicted to stress? To find out, begin paying attention to your life. Are you able to move through the day without stress? What happens when you take a day off and relax? If you don't get stressed out during the day, do you somehow feel abnormal? Do you find yourself saying things like, "But stress motivates me. How will I be motivated if I'm not stressed?" Do you find yourself creating your own drama in life in order to create stressful reactions in yourself or others?

Why is this important to consider? Because we must decide if we will live an addiction to stress and suffer its many consequences - or live our possibilities and enjoy the many blessings.

Why Get Involved?

I once heard that 80% of success is just showing up. That feels pretty true to me, and is in keeping with a lot of what I've learned in the past 37 years.

Showing up. Getting involved... Pretty important.

A question I asked myself today is "What am I showing up for?" What do I have myself involved in?

And then I thought...

How about the other 20%?

Certainly, the other 20% includes "why" I'm showing up, and who I'm being once I show up.

So, if we put it all together, maybe we have a great formula for success:

1. Show up. Get involved.
2. Know why you are showing up.
3. Be someone that truly adds to the moment you've showed up in.