Know Any "Difficult" People?

Difficult people... know anyone like that?

OK, so join me here on a little adventure. First, think of someone in your life that you really feel is "difficult." It could be your spouse, a child, a co-worker, your boss, a neighbor.

Got someone? Great!

Now, draw up an image of them in your mind. Yes, there they are... Now, allow yourself to get in touch with what it's like for you when you are with this person... Not only notice how you feel about them, but also notice how you feel about yourself when you are with them...

Now, for just a moment, drop the idea that this person is a "difficult" person. For now - just in this moment - let go of thinking about this person as "difficult." See them as a human being on a journey, just like you. As you do this, begin to notice how differently you feel about the other person... AND... notice how differently you feel about yourself...

Just notice...

Pretty cool, huh? You see, when we see others as "difficult" and get all "bent out of shape" because of it - who is that we are becoming? And, when we drop the judgment of "difficult" (or any other label) - and allow ourselves to see the other person with FRESH eyes, who is that they get to become and who is that we get to become?

The invitation here is to drop the judgment "difficult" (which belongs to you) and replace it with curiosity (which creates a new possibility): What's going on for them that is causing them to behave this way? What concern are they attempting to take care of? What are the commitments they are attempting to fulfill? What can you notice about this person that you've never noticed before? AND - get curious about yourself... why does this person set me off? What do I see in myself that is similar to what I see in them? What is this experience teaching me about myself? Does "difficult" describe them, or does it describe my own lack of ability to handle myself around them?

Consider this:

One of the most powerful ways to transform our relationship with another person is to be a space of possibility when we are with them. In other words, we show up in such a way that our presence creates a space in which the other person can show up differently if they chose to. This is a very loving thing to do.

Just imagine being a person that is a loving presence in which other people - yes, even the "difficult" ones - can show up and explore new possibilities for who they can be and what they can do! We all want and need an environment filled with people who believe in us and what is possible for us. And YOU can be that environment for others!

And when we drop the label "difficult" and allow ourselves to get curious about the other person - and commit to BEING a space of possibility for others, amazing things can and will happen. Creating such a space in our relationships creates an opening in which those involved can venture out - beyond their self-imposed limitations - and explore being someone greater in the world!

Be a gift to others...

-Denver